Marge: Homer! Marge: You feel softer than before. Compulsive gambling is a treatable condition. Marge: Oh my god! Homer: Heh heh heh. You have confused India with Indiana, Indiana with Illinois, and the Cubs with the Dodgers. I apologize for misleading you and urge you to watch as many FOX shows as possible. I’d kill you if I had my gun. While some Gibraltar operators do include titles from Netent and Microgaming, most will feature picks by Yggdrasil, NYX, and Betsoft. Homer: The only thing that can make bacon more delicious is seeing how it’s made. Voice: FOX Broadcasting. Yet in spite of his many moral shortcomings, there is one way in which the Simpson family patriarch has continuously outshined many of his sitcom brethren over the last 31 seasons. Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect spot. Homer: But Marge, I was a political prisoner! Marge: I saved this newspaper from the day Lisa was born. Homer proceeds to tell her how angry he is at her for breaking her promise to Lisa and making her cry. You’re sinking! Marge: Homer, you have to go out there, face that mob and apologize for what you did. Yeah well, you don’t. Homer: Uh, I’m somewhere where I don’t know where I am. Homer: That’s ridiculous. Homer: Wait. Marge suggests she goes as Nevada in honor of the legalized gambling in both the state and Springfield. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911. Where’s the University of Notre Dame? Homer: I am not too fat. I don’t want to snuggle with Max Power. Why not. Homer: Oh, no you don’t! If it is the online gambling that is causing problems, there is software available to blocks casinos loading. He had a gambling problem. Lisa objects and Marge suggests Florida since she loves orange juice and she has always dreamed of going there. In your face, Milwaukee! Homer: Still?! Homer: Dressing room? Marge: Drug lab! Isotopes Owner: Why don’t you talk it over with your family. 2.1 secs. Now I know why pimps are so happy. Homer: Marge, I can’t wear a pink shirt to work. I’m kinda like Jesus, but not in a sacrilegious way. Another option if you struggle with focus is to bet on sports. I’m not popular enough to be different. And now the floor is made of lava. You mean about you. One to lie and one to listen. All food tastes like barf now. But no. Homer: Well, hookers and Spider-man. And remember when I let that escaped lunatic in the house because he was dressed like Santa Claus? To overcome your gambling problems, you’ll also need to address these and any other underlying causes as well. Voice: Yahoo. That’s the death for me! How To Tell Your Parents You Have A Gambling Problem, hollywood slots bangor poker, does amy casino in vegas have dean martin slot machines, best mobile slots usa players Marge: You don’t smoke! level 1. Many of them will get a good reaction like "You are gay!" Homer: Stupid family. Homer: I’m stuck! Plus a few other interesting things if you end up digging far enough. Or the bees. 700 dollars! The Simpsons (1989) - S05E10 Comedy - Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. You don’t even know if it’s true. Homer: Heh heh. Lisa: Who wants to put on a leotard and get screamed at. Trojan. What do you mean, “however”? Homer: Oh. Homer: We can and will. Now extended drum solo. Mr. Burns: I suggest you get off my lawn. These are all forms of gambling. It has come to my attention that NBC sucks. But for some, gambling can become a problem. Ned: This is all your fault! But that’s America’s wang. and "Well, YOU have a gambling problem!" You're the biggest man in the world now and your covered in gold. Homer: Oh sure, it’s easy to point out my faults. Homer: Why would women want to go to a gym if there were no men there watching them and judging them? Lisa: I’m a magazine rack. In fact, I’ll be the nicest man in town. Apu: Such a product does not exist, sir. Homer: Well. Homer: Dancing away my hunger pangs, moving my feet so my stomach won’t hurt Homer: I kicked a giant mouse in the butt! You like Rashomon. Dad. However when he returns her to Marge, Marge just places her back down and returns to the slots, and Barney hypocritically comments on her impulse control problem, just before drinking some quarters, thinking they're beer. Homer: That’s not how I remember it. Carmen Electra: Uh. Lisa: I’m sorry Dad, these girls are nice on the surface but it’s hard work staying this shallow. Spending longer gambling does not have any impact on the outcome of the next event. Gambling addiction rates may be much higher than previously thought, according to research that also warns nearly half of those with a problem are not getting any help. Easy enough, right? Homer: You heard me. I am wearing tiny briefs. Al: When it happens, you’ll know. 1.2 secs. Homer: He’s nailing something to our door! Homer: Fine. The casino opens, and Homer gets a job as a blackjack dealer, a popular one at that since he is so bad at it that everyone at the table always wins except him. Lisa: Just buy me the friggin’ toy. Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. Homer: Now, if you need to reach me, my email is chunkylover53 at AOL. This baby’s sure to kill something. Marge: Bart, this is a big day for you. But that is not to say that gambling addiction should not be taken seriously. I won’t be in for the rest of the week. 1.7 secs. Bart: Dad, I though you didn’t like her saxophone. Homer: Not until you’re older, son. Homer: I’m a people person. Just quiet down. Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they shoot bees at you? Homer: I was working on a flat tax proposal and I accidentally proved there’s no god. When Homer confronts Marge with her behavior, she realizes that she has a gambling problem. Homer: Overdue book? I’m drunk. Moe: What are you so happy about, Homer? Give me my dignity. Homer: Oo, look! Earthquake? Homer: Well if kids are so innocent why is every bad named after them? Wha? Oh Andy Capp, you wife-beating drunk. Marge: Homer, you’re going too. One is not getting what one wants and the other is getting it. "$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)" is the tenth episode of Season 5. 3 years ago. Who called all these weird places? Homer: Money comes and money goes, but what I have in my daughter can go on for eight more years. For example, if you deposit $100, you will get a $100 bonus—to earn and cash out the bonus, you must then bet $4000 total in the casino or $2000 total in the sportsbook. Let’s just say fame was like a drug. However, you may have a gambling problem if you: Feel the need to be secretive about your gambling. Homer: Sorry, Mr. Burns. His gambling problem must have resurfaced. I’ll tell you who’s going to win the Superbowl if you want me to, but it’ll just validate my theory that you cared more about winning money than you did about me. Marge: Oh, I don’t want to bother the internet with my problem. Thank you, Bill Cosby, you saved the Simpsons! Who drinks. Homer: Honorable men can differ. Mulder: Mr. Simpson, we want you to recreate your every move the night you saw the alien. Homer: But isn’t marijuana or “dope” illegal? He was just poured into that uniform. (Marge sits down at the computer, grabs the mouse and starts clicking away) Bart: Click that one, Mom. Octo-Parrot: Awk! The best thing I can do as a parent is simply check out. Homer: Balzac. Mr. With smart phones, we have any form of gambling you can imagine in our pockets. You’re the most paranoid family I’ve ever been affiliated with. The human wang is a beautiful thing. Please check that How To Tell You Have A Gambling Problem your target operators do indeed have the necessary certifications and / or gaming body approvals. {points to the PSI sign} Poor Self Esteem. Marge: Homer, you’re going too. I think I’m in Chinatown. Well YOU have a gambling problem! "Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words" is the sixth episode of The Simpsons' twentieth season. Well, maybe it could be an idea to have a coffee and a doughnut before, or while, spinning at the reels of Donuts, a video slot produced by Big Time Gaming which has enough fun and features to make you drool at the prospect of big wins. We’ve gotta have him and his wife over for drinks sometime. Lisa: Not if you use a dimmer switch. Problem gamblers also typically deny or minimize the problem—even to themselves. Marge: Well it creeps me out. Marge: You know, Homer, it’s very easy to criticize. King of Troy: Now throughout history when people get wood they’ll think of Trojan. Lisa: You said his name two seconds ago. Dr. Hibbert: Yes. You strap yourself in and feel the G’s. Lisa: I pick Washington as a mortal lock. I may also be so clouded with rage that subconsciously I want you to lose. That’s no reason to block the TV. I can't believe all the trouble I'm in. Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated. Marge: Homer, when you forgive someone, you can't throw it back at them like that. Bart: What are you talking about? With a stomach full of bread. Homer: You say that so much it’s lost all meaning. Marge: Bart, this is a big day for you. Lisa: Will do. Homer: Wow, they have the internet on computers now. Final offer. Besides, if we want to see Japanese people we could have gone to the zoo! Michael Jackson: Hi, I’m Michael Jackson from the Jacksons. Lisa: You can’t give me a yellow card! But if you’re up there, please, save me, Superman! Marge: Are you crazy? Homer: I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. Homer: Yeah. Homer: Canada? Homer: I’m taking a shortcut. Lisa: Here’s a good job at the fireworks factory. So go ahead and enjoy the show. Remember when I let that escaped lunatic in the house because he was dressed like Santa Claus? – Homer Simpson. He eventually agrees to let it go as long as she makes the effort to stop heading back to the casino. Up one and one half. That’s the whole point of Moby Dick. Homer: You couldn’t be more wrong, Lisa. Won’t even come to my Rapture. planetclaireTV has been around in one form or another since 1999, offering a variety of quotes, quips, bon mots and assorted nonsense. Bart: But Wikipedia said he was passionate about rehearsal! How you solved crimes I’ll never know. Bart: We are home. Homer: Oh that’s terrible. Burns Well, that’s nothing because you have a gambling problem. Homer: Well I’ve been called a greasy thug too. I’m losing my perspicacity. Here are some numbers for therapists who can help" or "I think you should get help for your compulsive gambling. My baby beat me up. Homer, when you forgive someone you can't throw it back at them like that. Homer: I thought you guys were the gay mafia. Change me back to the blissful boob I was. The /r/TheSimpsons subreddit is fan base of redditors who love … . Homer, my face is up here. Lisa: Dad, just because you won a high school election doesn’t mean your whole life would’ve been better. Judge: And Margaret? Marge: Another thing I’ve been wanting to talk to you about…. Homer: I’m not normally a praying man. Homer: Well it’s always in the last place you look. Homer: Eh, what can you do. And I have to pee. Homer: Look, I’m the first to admit it. There's no way I can pay back all the money I owe. Homer tells Marge this is what she gets for neglecting their family and breaking her promise in helping Lisa make her Florida costume. Marge: But I fell in love with Homer Simpson. And you’re great. Homer: But I’m not a genius. But I don’t go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Homer: I know. Homer, "Sure. It might be you! Compulsive gambling is a serious condition that can destroy lives. The economy of Springfield is in decline, and Mayor Quimby listens to suggestions from citizens on how to improve the economy. As an addict, Marge quickly goes back on her promise and returns to the casino. We were actually going out for brunch and I got lost. It’s a biopsychological disorder that can be identified through a list of symptoms and requires a specific treatment type. Otherwise, please contact the Ontario Problem Gambling Helpline. Surprise witnesses? Best for Big Jackpots Rated 8.6. If I didn’t have this gun, the King of England could just walk in here any time he wants and start shoving you around. But at least I made Lisa popular. Marge: We can’t afford to buy a pony. You can put yourself on a register which means you are no longer permitted to gamble. Springfield is the world’s fattest town. Good advice. It could be one of these chemicals here that makes him so smart. I just judge them by the color of their skin. Bart: Lisa, if I ever stop loving violence I want you to shoot me. Homer: Okay, Ziff, you get her for the weekend. It’s not Maggaggie’s birthday? Homer’s Brain: No, no! Lisa: No. Homer: God bless those pagans. That's a homer, no matter if you're playing in the Majors, the Minors, Little League or your company's goofy corporate retreat game, where the CEO's nephew is calling strikes on pitches 5 inches off the plate. Our Advisers can give you more information and advice to help you take the first step – talk to us now. And I think your octo-parrot would agree. Homer: Yahoo! Homer: I’d like to read the following statement, but I do so under {a gun cocks} my own free will. If you have to go to meetings why not go to one in Aruba. You can take your time evaluating games, so if you lose focus sometimes you can come back to it later. Marge seeing Homer’s purchases: Gee. He becomes a germophobe, stops cutting his hair and nails, and forces Smithers to wear a hospital gown to protect him from germs. Bart: Crazy scheme, crazy scheme, scheme. Bart: What’s your system? Marge: We’ll all help. Oscar Wilde: Experience is simply the name we give to our mistakes. In theory. Why should we leave America to visit America Junior! Homer: Come on, Bart. No. Marge: Good Lord! (Groans.) If I get scared I don’t wanna ruin the suit. Homer: That’s exactly what it means! Lisa: I don’t like McNuggets. I don’t wanna die! Homer: Well, maybe not you, but they'll kill Grampa. Bart: You’re watching PBS? Bart: Dad! Homer: The experts say that if you want an animal to do something you should do it yourself first to show them how. Homer: Sure. The kids are watching a commercial for Stabby-Oh’s featuring a beheaded mother Homer: That was fast. Homer: Financial panther, eh? I’ve got nothing against Maggie. In fact everyone did. An invitation to our high school reunion. […] I told you! Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart’s activities but then I’d be afraid of smothering him. Show Runner Homer: Aw, what a gyp. The Simpsons (1989) - S30E10 'Tis the 30th Season. Wiggum: Mr. Simpson, is it possible you’re leading a double or triple life that your wife doesn’t know about? And remember when I let that escaped lunatic in the house 'cause he was dressed like Santa Claus? Bart: So Dean Martin would show up at the last minute and do everything in just one take? But he wasn’t moving. He’s in my book club! I can’t remember. Homer: Still?! I need my Miss Buxley fix. ... Well, you have a gambling problem! Addiction can ruin and claim lives and being addicted to gambling is just as valid a problem as addiction to drink and drugs. It’s uter-US, not uter-YOU. Homer: All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. Bart about his Speedo: I feel so European. Homer: The internet wasn’t created for mockery. You’re gonna get lost. Lady: These things happen. Homer: Okay. Homer, "You have a gambling problem." Isn’t Mick cool? Okay, listen very carefully: don’t do anything they say, remain panicky, and above all try to be a hero. Do you understand? Our son joined the army! Homer: For more information, visit our website, Too much baggage. Never before has the Army accepted recruits with test scores as low as yours. Homer J. You’re a double-bacon genius burger! There’s a middle ground. The Office (2005) - S09E06 The Boat. It’s time to tell her the terrible secret from your past. Nelson Muntz: What happens inside the brain of a gambling addict when they make a bet - and can the secret to their addiction be found within the brain itself? You have to know when to jump on the ship. You wanna pull off at a motel? Many people play slots and casino games regularly. Lenny : Oh, I know what it is. Homer: Really? Homer: That’s it! Homer: Or reading comic books. Marge: I’m sleeping on the couch. Bart: Like what? Smithers promises to send Homer back to the power plant. Homer: No! A gambling addiction or problem is often associated with other behavior or mood disorders. Wes Archer. You do nothing but play god. Homer: Beautiful! Well, that's nothing because you have a gambling problem! {pause} Wait a minute. Homer: Wow. Marge: No, I’m just saying it’s very dangerous if you get it as an adult. Homer: Alright. And if there’s time we’ll get to my drinking. At Springfield Elementary, Lisa, along with Ralph Wiggum, who dressed up as Idaho using nothing but a sheet of loose leaf paper that says "Idaho" taped to his shirt, both receive special awards for being "children who obviously had no help from their parents". {walking along} Oo! I’ve been interested in gambling regulation ever since we started Money and Mental Health, because it’s the one area where people who know they have a problem have a special set of rights: the right to ‘self-exclude’. I spit on your corpse, advertiser-supported television! Homer: Fine. I got this.”. Marge: Homer, there’s no rear on that thing. The one that says, “Don’t worry about it. Homer: I can’t go to a gay bar! Is this about that minivan I rented once? Homer: Why don’t those stupid idiots let me in their stupid club for jerks? And then we’d get the chair. Lisa: Dad! My whole deal? If I don’t, Buffalo. Marge: There was one in a cage. It’s like when we stopped paying the phone bill. I will say Good day to you sir! Happy as a clam! Marge: Hmm. Practical and alluring. Bart says the casino was stupid anyway and a squeaky voiced teen laughs, sarcastically telling Bart to build his own casino. Lisa: However. Praying heavenward Why should I suffer? Homer: Lisa, your father needs your help. Marge: I really think this is a bad idea. They’ll do something with you that they hate? You rent your womb to a rich childless couple. Marge: Oo! Written By Sure I’m flattered, maybe even a little curious. And when a woman says something’s not funny, you’d better not laugh your ass off. Marge: No need for potty mouth just because you can’t think of one. It was supposed to help researchers at different universities share data sets. Lisa: What are you lauging at, Dad? Chalkboard Gag But quite another for him to play my theremin! It creates brand awareness without relying on traditional media. $pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling) Homer: What? News Presenter: Simpson Scandal update: Homer sleeps nude in an oxygen tent which he believes gives him sexual powers. And the punishment for murder is— well it varies from state to state and by race. Homer: I have a great way to solve our money woes. . Well go ahead! Homer: Okay, I will! There’s your answer, Fish Bulb. Homer: Fine. What is this crap?! Marge: It’s Maggie. Why don’t you eat something a little more nutritious. Marge: Get a rope, Bart. Zombie Simpsons long ago lost all interest in telling stories that are even coherent, much less entertaining or – heaven forefend – actually good. Through savings and wise investment. Homer: I didn’t, but now Daddy’s special medicine—(raises voice menacingly) which you must never use because it will ruin your life—lets Daddy see and hear magical things you will never experience. Bart: “Where’s the beef?” What the hell’s that supposed to mean? Marge: Homer, you can not miss Lisa’s big day. No wonder you eat. Homer : Welly, welly, welly. “However” what? Lisa: No. I’ll have no part of it. Where’s my burrito! Homer: Marge give me a break. Homer: I’ve been tenderized. Problem Gambling can have a serious impact on the physical, emotional, and financial health of individuals who gamble, as well as their families. Homer: Yeah. Good. Yes Guy: Sir! [8F04] Bart: Hey, how come Lisa gets a pony? Smithers admires what appears to be a scale model of the plane, but Burns insists that it is the full-sized version. And remember when I let that escaped lunatic in the house 'cause he was dressed like Santa Claus? Tab Spangler: I’ve smelled it. Mr. Clean wants to hang with Dirty Dingus McGee. Homer: Florida? $3,000 . “Have one more beer at O’Flanagan’s Pub.” We’ll do that one. Homer: And how. It glows in the dark. Homer: Here are your messages: “You have thirty minutes to move your car.” “You have ten minutes.” “Your car has been impounded.” “Your car has been crushed into a cube.” “You have thirty minutes to move your cube.” The Day the Violence Died. Homer: Why did I take such punishment? Lisa: Thank you, Dad! Homer: You’ll have to speak up. Maybe it does. timing! Homer: You keep disappearing and reappearing and you’re not even funny. I admit it. That triumvirate of Twinkies merely overwhelmed my resolve. Homer trying to casually buy illegal fireworks: Let me have one of those porno magazines… large box of condoms, bottle of Old Harper… a couple of those panty shields, and some illegal fireworks, and one of those disposable enemas… Nah, make it two. Marge : We're just going to have to cut down on luxuries. And confused. So go ahead and enjoy the show. Lisa: Dad, I think that’s pretty spurious. Marge: This is terrible! Try this questionnaire: Do you bet more than you can afford to lose? Security cameras capture his rampage, causing Burns to demote him to his old job at the power plant. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons. Krusty: Eh, it’s a mix of voodoo and Methodist. Homer: Hm. This is either about me or steroids. Marge: Homer! Homer: Oh. Homer: Marge, they’re just hams, okay? Lisa: I get the idea. So, to answer you question, I don’t know. 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