1 Appearance 2 Personality 3 Biography 4 Other Media 4.1 Demashita! Edmund Blackadder, butler to the Prince Regent, enters the vestibule outside the Prince’s quarters with his own servant, Baldrick. People, all of them kind-hearted, persistently natter around the edges of the problem of a suffering dog, wringing their hands and complaining, trying to make authorities do something for the dog that the authorities clearly can't legally do, or clearly don't want to do. Spirit: Och — did nobody tell ye? Frondo: …and the Sheepsqueezers of Splatican Five? Absolutely not! Prince: Ah, excellent! The higher sphere also has numerous rods protruding from the equator], Pigmot: [kneels beside Asphyxia] Come, Majesty — he wastes our time. Ebeneezer: Oh, thank goodness. The horses are in many groups spread over a 20 mile stretch, but they have come together a bit more since I started feeding them regularly, which is good as I think they are burning less energy with less wandering up and down the roadways.". Report an Abused or Neglected Dog    That's Where I Saw The Leprechaun. Orphan [1 or 2? Ebeneezer: Cork it, Fatso! Baldrick: [removes turkey from his coat, puts it on table] Well, at least we’ve still got our turkey! Zuzu's mother thought Zuzu may have eaten something bad, but now that it was continuing she knew it had to be something worse. Baldrick: Well, I answered the door and it was this sweet old granny collecting for charity, so I let her in. And then one day... they disappeared. One of the puppies is the one that we rescued from this home and need help for. Dear me! [he returns to the Prince] So, shall I begin the Christmas story? We used to use black-and-white line drawings, but the visions are more effective. Welcome, lads! Ma’am! She swerved onto the gravel shoulder of the road, jumped out of her car, and ran back to the crate. [to Ebenezer] Felicitous compliments of the gorging season to you, sir. He is penned alone outside all day every day, as well as every night. Baldrick: Sorry, Mr B — I was just showing a sweet old granny to the door. Baldrick: ‘Spot’. Baldrick is pouring a drink. [punches Baldrick in the face; exits], [Back in Ebenezer’s bedroom; Spirit now is lying beside Ebenezer.]. Oh, this is the stuff, eh? Ebeneezer: Those last two were particularly satisfying — it felt just like having a go at the real Queen and Prince Albert. It was originally sent to the SPCA, but when nothing improved for the dog it was sent to AAS. They did have food, water and some shelter. References/Trivia. I Found A Moon Rock In My Nose. Ebeneezer: [looks outside, then shuts the window] No — I must have imagined it. rescued/sick We took her home in hopes of keeping her, however, she is an extremely active dog and we don't have time to train her properly. [shuts the curtains] Gah, that woman’s about as subtle as a rhinocerous horn up the backside. As you read Hap’s story keep in mind that the SPCA is the pound in this place, and since it does not do home-checks before or even after its "adoptions", Hap's abuser might have purchased him from the SPCA. Edmund: Well, not from me, certainly. Baldrick: [from outside the room] Mr Blackadder! Contact Us    Videos, All Rescue Stories    [to Victoria] Unless I’m very much mistaken, you’re the winner of the Round Britain Shortest, Fattest, Dumpiest Woman Competition. Edmund: …then she knocked on the door of a handsome young prince, >named George<, who gave her all his >massive collection of Christmas presents<, and she lived happily ever after. Murderous Malfunctioning Machine ("This Little Wiggy") Music Is Politics ("A Star is Torn") My Beloved Smother ("Fear of Flying") Named by Democracy ("Lisa on Ice") Name's the Same ("Homer to the Max") Nazi Gold ("Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in 'The Curse of the Flying Hellfish'") Nerd Glasses (“The Last Temptation of Homer”) No! But you’re obviously such a good chap [pats Ebenezer on the knee], there’ll be no need for any of that nonsense, so I’ll just say ‘cheery-bye’. [slices off a piece of turkey] Here; have a wishbone. Weren’t the children upset? Of course! Ebeneezer: [stands] Oh, dear me… [takes sock, and begins reaching inside it] But don’t be too unhappy; because, if you look very carefully, there’s something in this stocking from me…, Ebeneezer: In fact, it’s something I made for you…. [goes over to Ebenezer] And — who knows? You know you want to! Elizabeth: Ah! [gives his wallet to Ebenezer], Ebeneezer: Oh, splendid. Elizabeth: Yes… Maybe I was a little rash…. I really must be off… [stands up, but Ebenezer grabs his arm], Ebeneezer: I’d love to see Christmas Future…, Spirit: No no no no no no no no… It’s terribly melodramatic…, Spirit: All right… [wiggles his fingers a bit and makes a reluctant “Nyeu” sound], [Scene changes to the distant future. Iris's new family was devastated to find that little Iris had a very large growth on a mammary gland. Mr Baldrick, fetch the turkey! ... who was inherited by a woman when her uncle passed away. Baldrick: Well, that’s the kind of prezzy that shows the most love! Queen Victoria enters, followed by the chair-bearer (what’s the proper name for such an individual? What’s happened? The SPCA was forced by a bylaw officer to repossess that dog after the SPCA ignored repeated complaints about the mistreatment of the dog from the neighbour who lived who lived across the hall. "Treehouse of Horror VIII" is the fourth episode of The Simpsons' ninth season. With no immunities, the kittens are especially sick and often die. Oh, ah! I feed her whenever the owner is out. Despite being overbooked, the vet made room for him and he determined that, yes, the dog was most likely hit by a car and his jaw was broken. Ebeneezer: Oh, don’t worry about it, my dear fellow. Well done, Melchy. [sits in throne]. [he raises the object; it fires a ray at the husbands, who are dematerialised; Asphyxia looks around, shocked] And now, Your Majesty, I must respectfully insist that you hand over to me the supreme command of the universe, sew a button on my spare uniform, and marry me this afternoon. and again [punch!] Christmas again, eh? [goes to sit in fireside chair] Certainly, when I go and visit them, I do tend to remove all sharp objects for fear of bursting one of them and getting showered in two dozen semi-digested pies… But what of it? And only one answer from the dog: 'GET ME OUT OF HERE!". She is an actress, known for The Full Monty (1997), The Elephant Man … Prince: Yes, well, there’s that, I suppose. [turns to leave] Thanks… [cackles as she leaves]. Ebeneezer: Oh, of course! Ebeneezer: [leans out doorway] Well, all I can say is: you’ve been damned lucky. Ebeneezer: [from the back room] Ah, Beadle! 5F13 This Little Wiggy (14 Quotes) 5F14 The Trouble With Trillions (7 Quotes) 5F15 Girly Edition (12 Quotes) 5F16 King Of The Hill (13 Quotes) 5F17 Lost Our Lisa (20 Quotes) 5F18 Natural Born Kissers (8 Quotes) 5F23 The Joy Of Sect (10 Quotes) 5F24 All Singing, All Dancing (2 Quotes) or had found me a little fowl for Tiny Tom’s Christmas…? Baldrick: …>thin< git. Ebeneezer: But, but, so, what if I stayed good? Before we knew of him, he stoically suffered with a broken leg for an entire week in the August heat. She had a good appetite until last Wednesday morning when she stopped eating and started drinking copious amounts of water. I >love< presents! Jewel was one of those. General. Ebeneezer: Ah, good evening, sir and madam. Sorry; I got a bit confused and dropped a bomb on our own lot. Here: seventeen pounds, then. Oh well — another year without profit! Baldrick: It >was< the real Queen and Prince Albert. So, Breath plus: 4-mana deal two, 5-mana deal one and to 7+ mana cards. She was emaciated! Um, fancy a castle? [to orphans] …3, 4… Beadle and orphans: [singing]. She was rescued by two smart women with the help of Animal Advocates' years of experience and its incredibly generous donors. [takes it, looks at all the money inside], Ebeneezer: Congratulations. Dear Old Dogs    We have never been so insulted in our entire lives! Ebeneezer: Well, indeed, indeed… and what of your little orphan charges? Still, it >is< Christmas, and let us remember, Mr Baldrick [he takes the candle stand which holds the twig, and returns to the back room], that, be we as stony as a biblical execution, it is still the season of good cheer, and we have all our Christmas treats: nuts, turkey and presents. Baldrick: [following Ebenezer] Well, I was a bit rushed. [gives bowl to orphans, who scramble hungrily around it] See you tomorrow! Edmund: No, Sir. He is lying in bed, and is woken by someone saying a spooky “Woo!” The door to the room falls in, as steam and green light comes through. Baldrick: Nah, they loved it. Beadle: [to the shoving orphans, who all are trying to fit into the room] Get back! Prince: No, let’s not, Blackadder. Spirit: You wouldn’t have anything a wee bit more, er, medicinal…? Edmund: I’m glad I saw you — I feel it only fair to warn you that the Queen has banned the Christmas, so I wouldn’t get her a present this year. Huzzah!!! Let me see… [opens up a card he has picked up from the desk] “A Very Messy Christmas.” I’m sorry, Mr Baldrick — shouldn’t that be ‘merry’? I yearn to attend “Twenty Thousand Years of The Two Ronnoids” on the [box plof?]. He is one of the most powerful adversaries of The Powerpuff Girls, as well as one of their crueler opponents. All right, but the main thing is that it should be messy — messy cake; soggy pudding; great big wet kisses under the mistletoe…. She quietly endured seven years of heat, rain, cold, feces, and flies. Elizabeth: …and I suppose that means that everything of Lord Melchett’s becomes yours. [he leaves into the stairway to his bedroom], Baldrick: ‘night ‘night. But most horrifying were his paws. [stands, puts an arm around Ebenezer] Picture it: Quiet evenings in your hovel alone; a Bible; your own turnip! Baldrick: Oh, thank you very much. What did you do? Keep him out of it — he always spoils the X-mas atmos. By the way — I forgot to mention: When you were out there… [the violin is now replaced with spooky noises] …there was this enormous ghostly creature coming here saying, “Beware! Ebeneezer: I’ve >always< found you `foul’, Mrs Scratchit — and more than a little. Elizabeth: Oh, good! Luckily, you’re here to cover up the shortfall, Mr Blackadder. That box of matches in your basket is just the thing I need. Damn… Now I have only two surprise presents for you…. This Little Wiggy/Quotes. [stands, goes to the bedside] What a pig! You can’t send them out into the world with nothing but a small pudding! It’s got to be a specific book. [holds out the seal; Baldrick takes it and slowly kneels] We have come to present your master with fifty thousand pounds and the title of Baron Blackadder, for being the kindest man in England. Christmas sherry and charades with honest manly fellows. 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